Ra ra ra Jokes - page 180

BLONDE NURSES’ HANDBOOK #2

Anesthesia…Movie about crazy Russian girl Aorta…Responsibility, as in “Aorta empty that bedpan” Atrophy…Bowling team award Blue Baby…Newborn Smurf Caplet…Beanie Coccyx…More than one dick Colon…Punctuation mark Coma….Ditto Diarrhea…Little book of personal thoughts Eroded Disc…Worn out LP Fibula…Little white lie Fractures…One half, one third…numbers like that Hyperextension…Extra-long telephone cord Lobotomy…Getting your ears pierced Medicine…Invented lightbulb Shingles…Those thingys on roof Spinal Tap…Rock band or dance step Sternum…Canned heat for camping Tongue Depressor…Makes tongue sad X-rayed…Porno movie

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Why did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…

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Lil’ Johnny’s Thanksgiving

Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…

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The Magical frog

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The…

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Kids’ Real Answers About Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…

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Bunny line-up

Once there was a scientific experiment that included rabbits. The scientists lined the bunnies up in a line and said, “Jump back!” and they jumped back. They did this for months. They lined the rabbits up day after day and told them to jump back and they did. Now after years of government spending for funding for the program the scientists came to the final conclusion, but they had to perform just one last test. The scientists arrived early that…

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Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 12th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger double-wide. The husband then went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children but they couldn’t afford a costly operation, either. The doctor told him that there was a home procedure called a redneck vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb,…

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Yo Mama

* Your mama so skinny her nipples touch. * Your Mama feet so big she went into a shoe store and asked for a size eleven box. * Your Mama so fat when she ran away from home they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

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Scared or Apprehensive?

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet and sad and looking a pit pale, so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?” I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the difference?” He replied, “That means I’m scared with a university education.”

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If It Weren’t For The Movies

Things You’d Never Know If It Weren’t For The Movies: Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed. One of a pair of identical twins is evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one…

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