Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” said the caddy. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. He will surely die if you don’t do the following: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.…
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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess — why can’t it get us out? Even if you are on the…
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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but couldn’t–the cow was killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar…
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A young Indian boy asks the Indian chief,”Grandfather why do all of us Indians have strange names?” He replies,”Well son in the dawn of the day into which the young were born, the indian brave will leave his teepee. The first thing he see’s will be the name of his young.” “Like your sister, Running Deer, the first thing your father saw was a running deer and,your brother Flying Eagle, the first thing your father saw was a flying eagle.…
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At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative. “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together, as a team?” The little boy nodded, yes. “So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?” Again,…
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A preacher was passing a farmer’s house on an afternoon walk. He noticed the farmer was digging a rather large hole. The preacher asked what the farmer was doing, to which the farmer replied “One of m’ critters died last night and I gotta bury ‘im.” The preacher asked “Which one?” The farmer answered, “My burro.” The preacher stated, “You know, according to The Good Book, that critter is an ass.” The farmer nodded and continued his chore. A few…
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A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of the yonder tree,” sighed the pheasant, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The pheasant pecked at a lump of do-do and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,…
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You Might Be a Computer Geek If… You may have heard of Jeff Foxworthy’s humorous dialogue about rednecks, well, this is a twist on his style of humor. You might be a computer geek, by Jeff Foxqwerty. You might be a computer geek: 1 If you have 20/20 vision, and still can’t C… 2 If You buy a car and ask what version it is instead of model… 3 If the biggest purchase of your life happens at least once…
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