Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. “Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man. “Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack.…
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Three guys,a Russian, a Swede and a Czech, decided that they wanted to go bear hunting. They read all the books, asked the pros for advice, and got all the state of the art equipment. When they got to the reserve they told the guard on duty, “If we don’t come back in three days, come looking for us.” And with that taken care of they drove on into the wilderness. Three days passed and still the guys hadn’t shown…
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Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but needed change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red, and said, “That’s no way to address a superior office! Now let’s try it again. ‘Private, do you have change for a dollar?’” Private Duncan replied, “No, SIR!”
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A man was driving down a quiet country lane when, out into the road, strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car with a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and knocked on the door. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously, said, “I think I just killed your rooster. Please allow me to replace him.” “Suit yerself,” he replied. “The hens are ’round back.”
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One day at the carp fair there was a shovel throwing competition. The first contestant gets up and throws the shovel 100 yards. The shovel throwing judge says,” Wow what a toss, that was better than anyone at the last fair, do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?” The guy says,” My grandfather was a farmer, my daddy’s a farmer and I’m a farmer; we shovel shit all day long, I guess I just got…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias. “Well, Ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable, BUT malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so we give you two silver bars.” “As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an Admiral,…
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An old man gets on a crowded bus, and no one offers to give him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles along, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he slowly gets back up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you would put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn’t slip.” The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy had done the…
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The death of Princess Di is one of those circumstances in life that you will always remember where you were. For me I was at a party. There was a lot of drinking going on and I was beyond hammered. One lady at the party came screaming and crying, “Lady Di has been killed! The papparazzi have killed Lady Di.” My response was “Papparazzi, that fat, opera singing bastard.”
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Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…
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