Ra ra ra Jokes - page 102

Bar Ballerina

A woman with very hairy armpits walks into a bar and sits down at a table in a dimly lit corner. She raises her hand to order a drink, and a drunken man at the bar says, rather loudly, to the bartender, “I’ll buy the drink for that ballerina!” The bartender, rather confused by the ballerina comment, complies, and brings the woman a free drink. A short while later, the woman with the hairy armpits raises her hand again to…

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Conscientious Student

On my first day of classes at Ballstate University in Muncie, Indiana, I took a front row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began . . . Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook . . . I was working feverishly to…

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FDA Drug Names

We all know that in pharmacology all drugs have generic names… for example; Tylenol is acetaminophene, and Advil is ibuprofen. Well, the FDA has come up with a generic name for Viagra… it’s mycoxafloppin.

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His Fondest Wish

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is at the entrance. A cat shows up. St Peter says “I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn’t cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted.” Cat: “Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master had, so I could lie on it.” St Peter: “That’s easy. Granted.…

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75 Things NEVER To Say To A Man With A Small Penis

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Stop fingering me. 4. I’m sorry. 5. Who circumcised you? 6. Why don’t we just cuddle? 7. You know they have surgery to fix that. 8. It’s more fun to look at. 9. Make it dance. 10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 11. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 12. It looks like a nightcrawler. 13. Wow, and your feet are so…

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Ping Pong Ball Contest

A local TV station sponsored a fabulous contest, the grand prize being a 30-day all expense paid trip around the world. Three gentlemen were selected as finalists, and as a final task each were given 14 days to accumulate as many ping pong balls as they could. The three men all set out on their unusual journey. After 5 days the first gentleman returned in a Chevy pickup truck, filled to the top with small white ping pong balls. “Great!…

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Don’t Go Into That House

Top 10 houses that you should avoid during trick-or-treating: 10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole. 9. Any house made of food. 8. Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. 7. Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it. 6. Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas. 5. Any house that growls “get out.” 4. Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.…

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58 things a Woman should never say to a Man

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don’t we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It’s more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 10. It looks like a nightcrawler. 11. Wow, and your feet are so big. 12. My last boyfriend was 4″…

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3 Little Indians Go To School

When the new school year started, the history teacher was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asked the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knew this. The little boy stood up and proudly threw out his chest. Then he took his fist and hit it on his chest. He said in a…

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Board Meeting

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the Church Board, following the close of the service. The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the Board Members,” explained the minister. “I know,” said the man. “but if there is anyone was who more bored than I was, then I’d like to meet him.”

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