Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After awhile, another ape makes an attempt with the same result; all the apes are sprayed with cold water. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape…
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10. Every time you are about to be punished, you start a war with another school. 09. You don’t count an oral report as a report. 08. When you get caught without your homework, you blame it on a “vast, 4th grade conspiracy” 07. When your Mom asks if you’ve done your chores, you respond “that depends on what the meaning of the word ‘done’ is”. 06. You get expelled, and your popularity rating goes up 10%. 05. The day…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it’s cute. 3. Why don’t we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and your feet are so big. 8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it. 9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 10. Oh no…. a flash headache. 11. (giggle and point) 12. Can I be honest with you? 13.…
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Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed.…
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A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up on an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black…
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The following are two of the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest: “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said…
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This Chinese guy was quietly drinking at this bar, when a Jewish guy walks in and punches him in the face. The Chinese guy says, “What was that for???” The Jewish guy replies, “That was for Pearl Harbor!” The Chinese guy says, “I’m Chinese. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!” The Jewish guy says, “Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?!” The Jew sits down at the other end of the bar and gets a drink. Then the Chinese guy goes over to…
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A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he’d been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner the young man realized he couldn’t hold it in one-second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.…
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One day, Monica Lewinsky died and went to Hell. Later that day, Clinton died and went to Hell also. He met Satan and Satan said to him, “You have three choices of eternal punishment.” He opened up the first door and there were people walking around in the flames, screaming in pain. Bill said, “I really don’t like that one much.” Satan showed him what was behind another door and there were people whose heads were chopped off and put…
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Phil was driving home from the insurance office where he worked when his right rear tire blew. He bumped along to a stop in front of the State Mental Hospital where he noticed that he was being observed by a patient sitting on the grass. Realizing this was not a dangerous inmate, Phil ignored him and pried off the hubcap. He got the car jacked up and spun the five lug nuts off the wheel, dropping them carefully in the…
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