Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says “See that baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!” She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder pose and says, referring to his thighs, “See these,…
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Over breakfast recently, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course, I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen, long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for…
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One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table. I opened the refrigerator and, taped to the inside of the door, was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfect-built, but scantily-clad, young woman. “Mom, what’s this? I asked. “Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat,” she answered. “Is it working?” I asked. “Well, yes and no,” she replied. “I’ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has…
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A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to very serious health risk. As he wondered how the heck he was ever going to do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. “Guaranteed like hell,” he thought to himself, but desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day, 10-lb. weight loss program. The next day there was a knock at the door and when he answered,…
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One day a little boy by the name Timothy who was about 6 years old went to his mom and asked her, “How old are you?” The mom said, “There are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older.” Then the boy asked his mom, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” The mom replied, “Like I said, there are some things you should never ask a woman…
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A tourist guide brought a group of tourists from the MidWest to the New York City zoo. Stopping in front of the elephant’s enclosure, the tourist guide began his lecture, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant – the largest animal to roam the land. Everyday, the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of banana, 6 tons of hay and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits…” Seeing a woman tourist getting near an elephant, the tourist guide warned, “Madam, please don’t stand…
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A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, “Thank Heavens, I’ve made it in time! Have you a turkey?” The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 12 pounds. “Ah, haven’t you anything bigger?” the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the…
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