Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two blondes were walking down the sidewalk, when one of them spots a compact lying by the curb. She opens the compact and looks at the mirror and exclaims to her friend “Hey, this girl looks familiar!” Her friend reaches over, looks in the mirror and says, “You dumb shit! It’s me!”
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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How do you know if you’re in love, lust, or marriage? LOVE — when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST — when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE — when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care LOVE — when you argue over how many children to have LUST — when you argue over who gets the wet spot MARRIAGE — when you argue over money LOVE — when you share everything…
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If cigarettes are “coffin nails” is chewing tobacco “coffin glue”? If a “bakers dozen” is 13 is a “politicians dozen” 11? When it says “Sodium Free” is the product free of sodium or are they not charging you for the salt? What was the best thing before sliced bread? After a desert sandstorm do trucks go around and put ice on the roads? If a couch potato eats french fries is it considered cannibalism? If two lovers share the same…
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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The man below says, “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42…
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Alright this father and son are going fishing at a dam. So, they’re fishing and the father gets a bite. He reels it in and says, “YEA! I caught a dam fish.” The boy just looks at his father strangely. The father then says, “We will eat this for dinner.” Well, dinner rolls around and the father says, “Son pass me the dam fish.” So the son passes him the fish and then replies, “Dad, now you pass me the…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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Sunday dinner with my mother, Adah, my father, Fred, and my three siblings was always a lively event. On one occasion, all of us, except my mother, were in a silly mood, and we began requesting, in rhyme, items at the table. “Please pass the meat, Pete.” “May I have a potatah, Adah.” “I’d give you the moon for a spoon.” After several minutes of this, my mother had heard enough. “Stop this nonsense right now! Let’s have some meaningful…
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A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer’s field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmers wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. He asked the farmer, “How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and…
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A farmer in an old truck was driving to town when he spotted a hiker carrying a backpack and a big suitcase. Being a caring man, the farmer pulled over and asked the young man if he wanted a ride. Even though the truck looked like it was about to fall apart, the young man put his suitcase in the back and climbed aboard. But the farmer was confused when he noticed the man was still wearing his backpack. “Why…
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