Pop pop Jokes - page 10

Why Cucumbers are Better than Men

The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…

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Tragedy!!

NEW YORK–Tragedy struck at a popular Manhattan nightclub Saturday, when the roof of “The Tunnel” caught fire, collapsing and killing 43 party people. According to fire-department officials, the death toll was exacerbated by the clubgoers’ unwillingness to evacuate the burning building. “I tried shouting to the people on the dance floor that the roof was on fire and that they should exit the premises immediately, but they seemed unfazed by the danger,” firefighter Michael Pitti said. “I just kept shouting,…

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The loan request

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the…

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51 Days

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows.…

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Using the Law to your Edible Advantage

Here is a TRUE story someone found, regarding exams at Cambridge University in the UK: It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: “I beg your pardon?” Student: “Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.” Proctor: “Sorry, no.” Student: “Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.” At…

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The Amazing Compilation Wish Completer Survey Quiz

This Amazing Compilation Wish Completer Survey Quiz is quite astounding. One young man in Grasklebakistaninopleopolis recieved a brand new goat for simply filling out this survey and taking the quiz. TRY IT YOURSELF, IT WILL REVEAL EVERYTHING BURRIED IN YOUR SOUL!!! **Full name: It is spelled George Robertson, but pronounced Franklin O’Henry Ftang Ftang Ole Biscuit-barrel **Nickname: The Pope **Favorite color out of, muave, off-white, Asia Minor, Cindy Crawford: Elm Tree **Favorite drink, mountain dew or crab juice? Parlezvous Frances?…

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Desperately seeking technical support

Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…

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Seems a Little Cloudy

Elderly Harry was in the hospital. Every time this young nurse came in, she talked to him like a little child. She would say, in a very patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning??!!!” Well, this a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray and put it on his stand. He had been given a Urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple, and you know what Harry did with…

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Airplane ride

A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful women he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is so nervous, and he soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation with her. He asks, “Where are you flying to today?” She responds, “To the annual nymphomaniac convention in Chicago.” He is CRAZED…

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