Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. “Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent,…
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One poor old fellow is driving along one day and has a really bad car accident… he wakes up in hospital and can only see out of one eye… the doctor looks at him and say “I’m sorry, but we had to replace one of your eyes… with a rounded piece of rimu tree” So when he gets out of hospital his mate comes round and tries to cheer him up by taking him to the bar. When they get…
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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He inquired of God, “Where were you?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look son, look what I’ve made”. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” God replied, “It’s a planet and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’ve named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on…
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For more than an hour the scrawny guy sat at the bar staring down in his glass. Suddenly a burly truck driver loped across the room, sat down next to him and drank the guys drink. The poor fellow burst out crying. “Oh, come on, pal,” the trucker said. “I was joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink.” “No, that’s not it,” the man replied. “This has been the worst day of my life. I overslept, was late for work…
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
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A well-dressed matron swathed in a beautiful leopard fur coat was accosted by a screaming animal activist who yelled, “And what poor creature had to die so you could have that fur coat??” The woman replied, “My aunt in Cleveland.”
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(Sing to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) Well, dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill; Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still; Den one day he was workin’ at his desk, When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest … Boobs, that is. Two of ’em. Bodacious ta ta’s. Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees, Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; Bill sez, “oh yeah…
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An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing. After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, “Right, I’ll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis.” The old man didn’t quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, “What did the Doctor say?” The wife replies, “He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear.”
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