Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so blind she got hit by a parked car. Yo mama so fat instead of God saying let there be light he said, “Get your fat ass out of the way.” Yo mama so dumb she took the pepsi challange and chose jif. Yo mama so big you can go bowling with her boogers. Yo mama so fat her buttcheeks look like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. Yo mama so fuckin ugly when she was a…
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A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had lost his boat, his livelihood and possessions. He was trudging round the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps in jokes) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared. A Jewish Genie. “Vey!” he said. “Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin…
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Sunday dinner with my mother, Adah, my father, Fred, and my three siblings was always a lively event. On one occasion, all of us, except my mother, were in a silly mood, and we began requesting, in rhyme, items at the table. “Please pass the meat, Pete.” “May I have a potatah, Adah.” “I’d give you the moon for a spoon.” After several minutes of this, my mother had heard enough. “Stop this nonsense right now! Let’s have some meaningful…
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A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman – almost.” The priest says, “What do you mean, ‘almost’?” The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.” The man leaves confessional, goes over and…
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A man suspects his wife is having an afair. He calls the house and a strange woman answered the phone. “Who is this?” asks the man, “The maid” she replies. “We don’t have one.” “I was hired this mornining sir.” “ok then” says the man” Where is my wife please?” “upstairs with the man who I thought was her husband.” “I’ll tell you what” says the frustrsted man” I’ll give you $1000 if you get my gun from my desk…
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“My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering…. how many calories are in a mouse?” “I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?” “Does your dog food help with emancipation?” “What should I feed a borderline collie?” “What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?” “Is it normal for a dog to shed?” “How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband’s toothbrush?”…
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn’t receive some divine intervention. The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to…
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In the everglades of Florida, there is an alligator wrestling demonstration going on. The guy is doing his thing with the alligator, the normal stuff you would see like opening the gator’s mouth and placing his inside, putting the gator in a headlock, flipping the gator, etc… Once he is done with this, he turns to the crowd and drops his pants and his underwear. He then reaches into a small wading pool next to him and pulls out a…
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