Police police Jokes - page 7

After a night on the town with his buddies and a few too many drinks, Tom foolishly offers to give everyone a lift home. As Tom is driving down the freeway, his friend yells out that he has missed the exit. “No problem,” says Tom as he puts the car in reverse and begins reversing — straight into another car. Wouldn’t you know it but 10 seconds later a police officer drives up. The officer approaches the other car first…

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More Things You’d Never Have Known If Not For the Movies: If you overpower a sentry or guard, his uniform will fit you perfectly. It is possible to brush your teeth without any toothpaste foam appearing on your lips. Handsome men don’t belch or fart. If you’re a team of misfits and losers, you’ll win the championship. In a large city, the streets are always wet at night. Most bathrooms do not have a toilet. All orphans can sing and…

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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…

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A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trenchcoats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst pile-ups in history occurs. When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man…

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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…

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