Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I was reading in the paper today and I guess about a week ago this guy was trying to hire somebody to kill his wife. So he called up this Mafia guy named Arty. He asked Arty, “How much it would cost to kill my wife?” “A dollar,” Arty replied. So the guy said, “Every Tuesday my wife goes to Consumers at 6:00 and you can?t miss her cause she?s blonde and she drives a red sports car.” So the…
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01. You can name everyone with whom you graduated. 02. You know what 4-H is, and WHY. 03. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. 04. You used to drag “main.” 05. You said the “F” word and your parents knew, within the hour. 06. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t — same goes…
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NEW YORK It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. NEW JERSEY You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only. In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant. CALIFORNIA It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. Women may not drive in a house coat. FLORIDA It is illegal to…
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Little Girl to Policeman : “Please sir, will you take my brother home? He is lost.” Policeman :”Why can’t you take him home?” Little girl :”Because I’m lost too.”
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A lady was riding a bicycle without holding the handlebars, and she was knitting at the same time. Soon she was noticed by a policeman. He took a megaphone and shouted: “Pull over!” “No, socks.” – was the answer.
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There were these 3 guys walking up a roadside right next to a cliff. Their names were Fuck You, Shit, and Manners. Well on the way up, Shit fell off, and Manners went down to help him; while Fuck You went to call the police. Fuck You told the cops everything. The lady asked,”O.k, now please tell me your name.” He said, “Fuck You.” The lady said, “Please tell me your name.” Once again he told her his name, “Fuck…
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There was this bootlegger driving down the road when a police officer pulled him over. The police officer walked up to the car and saw a jug sitting in the seat beside the man. The police officer asked the man what was in the jug and the man replied “water”. The officer then asked to see the jug. The officer took the jug and smelled the contents. He then told the bootlegger that it was not water but instead wine.…
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If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…
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A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!” she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes.” Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher’s telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde…
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One day the Pope was going to a United Nations meeting in New York. When his plane arrived, the airport was mobbed. Finally, the Pope got into his limo. Because of the mob, the Pope was way behind schedule. So, he told his driver to go faster. His driver went a little faster but not that much. The Pope getting anxious told him to go even faster. The driver slightly went faster. Now the Pope was getting really anxious and…
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