Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…
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A foursome goes out on the course, only to find themselves waiting on every hole for the most inept golfers they’ve ever seen, who are playing in front of them. After a few holes, they start yelling at the klutzes, but that doesn’t seem to speed their game up. By the time they’ve finished their round, they’re so pissed off that they go straight to the golf pro to complain. “Guys,” he tells them, “those fellas you’ve been screaming at…
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T’was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the…
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One of the teachers had a kindergartner that came up to her and said that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. “How do you know it’s dead?” The boy said, “I pissed in its ear.” The teacher said, “You WHAT?” He said, “You know, I went to his ear and said, ‘PSST!’ and it didn’t move. So it must be dead.”
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50 Ways to Kill Bin Ladin (As sung by “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” with apologies to Paul Simon) The problem is all inside his head it seems to me; The answer is easy if you strike him methodically. We need to get him in our struggle to be free; There must be 50 ways to get Bin Ladin. Bush said ?It?s really not my habit to use nukes. Except now, I?m really pissed off at those Islamic nut-head…
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There was this construction worker on the 7th floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself. He tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get one for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eye (meaning “I”) then pointed…
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T’was the night before Chrismas – Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – whad do i hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudoph got drunk and goosed all the…
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Johnny paints a sign: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME; then tells his buddy Roy to get his red wagon and both sit under a shade tree in Johnny’s front yard, waiting for business. Kathy, across the street, is not to be outdone: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A NICKEL; tells Nellie to get her red wagon and both sit in Kathy’s yard. Johnny’s pissed…how dare that GIRL? Then, a flash…and Johnny hauls Roy across the street & says, “Let’s get…
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Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…
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Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together. As time…
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