Perfect person Jokes - page 2

I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…

(0)
Loading...

Note: This lightning-fast exchange REALLY HAPPENED! It occurred during a parent/teacher conference for our son, and it made some jaws drop. Sometimes a person gets lucky–and the PERFECT comeback shoots out of one’s mouth almost without thinking. 🙂 –> During a parent/teacher conference at our son’s school, his teacher solemnly informed us: “I’m sorry to say that Dylan is having problems with three-letter words in the book at school.” “But that’s impossible!” I heard myself quipping. “He knows every FOUR-LETTER…

(0)
Loading...

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…

(0)
Loading...

You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…

(0)
Loading...

A girl walks into a tattoo shoppe and asks for a tattoo of Elvis on the inside of her left thigh. The artist said, “Elvis is my specialty, c-mon in and have a seat!!” As he finishes, she takes a look and says, “THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ELVIS!” He replies, “That is the best Elvis I have ever done.” She disagrees. So he offers to do a mirror image on the other leg — so he gives her one…

(6)Loading...

Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…

(1)Loading...