Pee pee Jokes - page 7

Morbid Curiosity

A new minister in a small town spent the first four days desperately calling on the membership, begging them to come to his first services….He failed. Early the following week, he placed a notice in the local newspaper stating that, as the church was dead, it was his duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon, the notice said. Morbidly curious, the whole town turned out. In front of the pulpit,…

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Read JokeMorbid Curiosity

Stupid Blondes

I Know a blonde that was so stupid that….. she called me for my # she spent 20 mins. looking a the O.J. bottle b/c it said “concentrate” she put lipstick on her forehead b/c she wanted to make-up her mind she tried to drown a fish If you gave her a penny 4 her thoughts you’d get change under “education” on her application she put “Hooked On Phonics” If she were to speak her mind she’d be speechless she…

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Read JokeStupid Blondes

Da Blonde and Da Ol’ VW Bug

There was once a blonde who bought a VW bug. She was driving along, and she ran over a speed bump,and immediately after she heard a huge bang and her car broke down. The blonde then got out of her car and opened the hood, where she thought the engine should be. To her surprise it was gone. Thinking the engine had fallen out she started walking back. On her way she met another blonde, in an identical VW bug.…

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Read JokeDa Blonde and Da Ol’ VW Bug

Raining Candidates

Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallies in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd–shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily. Suddenly, the skies opened, and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant, along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd–shaking hands kissing babies,…

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Read JokeRaining Candidates

Ambitious Ensign

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men, and soon the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficieny had been remarkable! In fact the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer…

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Aww, Daddy . . .

My 3-year-old daughter, Sarah, has the normal speech problem that most kids have when they are at this age. She can’t say her C’s. They come out T’s, and the R’s come out like W’s. My husband sleeps in his underwear. He woke up one morning and started to walk to the bathroom, just as my daughter walked out of her room. She stopped him dead in his tracks, pointed to his “package,” and said, “Awww, Daddy, you got TWAP…

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Read JokeAww, Daddy . . .

so damn dumb

yo momma so damn dumb when the judge said “Order in the court,” she said she’ll take some fries, a shake, etc. yo momma so damn dumb she thinks speed dial is fast acting soap.

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Read Jokeso damn dumb

Latex Gloves

As the dentist was putting on his rubber gloves, he asked the elderly lady, “Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?” She said, “No.” “Well,” he spoofed, “down in Puerto Rico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the natives walk up to the tank, and dip their hands in — and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up — then they peel off the gloves and…

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Read JokeLatex Gloves

Different Perspectives

Smoking helps you lose weight . . . one lung at a time! Tell a man there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it to see. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

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Read JokeDifferent Perspectives