Pear Jokes - page 17

Now that’s magic!

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…

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Read JokeNow that’s magic!

TONS of Blonde Jokes

1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…

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The Jewish Genie

A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had lost his boat, his livelihood and possessions. He was trudging round the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps in jokes) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared. A Jewish Genie. “Vey!” he said. “Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin…

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Party Pooper

During a rather rowdy party, one unattached female guest kept disappearing into a back bedroom with one man after another, including the host. This did not go unnoticed by the host’s wife, who was quietly smoldering, but kept her composure, so as not to ruin the party. It was still fairly early when “Miss Willing” approached the hostess, looking somewhat frazzled and rumpled. “I’m sorry to rush off,” she exclaimed, “but I don’t feel too well.” “Of course, I understand,…

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Having a ‘Ball’

At a Greenwich Village Ball a young woman presented herself entirely without clothes. The doorman stopped her, with these words: Miss this is a costume Ball. We don’t mind how few clothes you have on, but you are supposed to represent something. The woman went to the ladies dressing room and shortly reappeared with nothing on save a pair of black shoes and black gloves. The doorman stopped her and asked what she was supposed to be. “Can’t you see…

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smoked out

Monica Lewinsky has now turned down $2 million for a book deal and $1 million to appear in Penthouse. Taking these events into account the people at White Owl and Garcia Vega have withdrawn their endorsement offer.

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Breast Milk Advantages

A question had appeared in a students’ medical examination which read: “List four benefits of breast milk.” A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can’t steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed to his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.

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Read JokeBreast Milk Advantages

Bad Golfers

A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend. After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened. He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his…

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Kid’s Bible Stories

The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…

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Another poopie list

Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…

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Read JokeAnother poopie list