Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful blonde teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he has ever seen. He went to his wife and said…
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A new exchange student had just come to his new school and his teacher said to him, “To help you learn english faster I want you to write down four words during lunch that you really like!” The boy nodded and went to work. When he was in the playground he played a game his friends called “take off.” He liked those words so he wrote them down. Later he and his friends were playing a game where they had…
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Just in case we need any additional proof that the “bozo index” is at all time highs (and going higher), consider these for-real label instructions on consumer goods: ************************************* On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that…
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One day this little boy goes up to his grandpa and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What do you want?” “Can you talk like a frog for me?” “What? No.” Then his granddaughter goes up to him and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What is it? I’ll do anything for you my little munchkin.” “Can you talk like a frog?” “What? No. Why do you and your brother want me to talk like a…
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These first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color from the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted, and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.” “What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child. “It means,” said the little girl, “that I grew in my mommy’s heart instead of in her tummy.”
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I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…
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One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said “Looky thar up ahead Earl, it’s a po-leese roadblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!” “Don’t worry Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat.” “What fer?” asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, okay?” said…
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Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…
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A teacher in class one day was asking students what they did at recess. First, she called on a little white boy named Timmy and asked him. He replied, “I played in the sand box”. The teacher said, “Good, now if you can spell ‘sand’ I’ll give you a fresh baked cookie”. He did and he received his reward. Next, the teacher called on a litte white girl named Suzy and asked her what she did. She said “I played…
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Hershel Ostropolier (a Jewish wit of the 17th century) is walking home one Friday afternoon, taking a shortcut through the forest. A bandit, brandishing a pistol, jumps out and says, “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you dead!” Hershel pleads with the man, “My wife will never believe that I’ve been robbed. She’ll think I just spent the money in a tavern. She’ll kill me if you don’t!” The robber replies, “That’s no difference to me. Give me your…
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