Oy Jokes - page 8

Elon Musk, World’s Richest Man, Declares War on Netflix Over Kids’ Cartoon Character

Elon Musk, the entrepreneurial titan usually found launching rockets or revolutionizing electric cars, has apparently found his latest nemesis: a cartoon character in a children’s show. A recently resurfaced clip from Dead End: Paranormal Park led the billionaire to rally his loyal followers, encouraging them to cancel their Netflix subscriptions. ? It seems even space-faring moguls aren’t immune to the dramatic pitfalls of animated storylines! ? Who knew a kids’ show character could spark such an epic, subscription-halting battle? Leer…

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Australian Police Prepare for Riotous Day, End Up Pepper Spraying Air as Protests Fizzle Out

Well, that was awkward! ???? Australia’s police forces geared up for a massive ‘Day of Protests,’ complete with pepper spray at the ready, only to discover most of the anticipated ‘rabble-rousers’ apparently hit the snooze button. The streets, prepped for epic brawls, instead saw a smattering of folks airing diverse grievances – everything from vaccine hesitancy to calls for racial justice. It was less of a showdown and more of a modest stroll, leaving officers with plenty of unused riot…

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Baseball in the Great Beyond

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. “Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches. “I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered, unperturbed. “We’ve got all the umpires.”

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Free Advice from Kids

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…

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getting the bull to breed

This cowboy wants to go into the calf business but needed a bull to get things started. He calls up his banker and the banker floats him a loan. Around 6 weeks later, the banker calls the cowboy back and asks him how the bull is performing. Well the cowboy replies that the bull could be a dud and the banker told him to get the vet out there pronto to see if he could the bull to start producing.…

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Damn Yankees

During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…

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a Blond and a car

There was a blonde driving a car, and all was going fine until the car started speeding up it hit a lot of bumps and she was thrown off , but her foot was caught in a wire her head was bouncing dangerously close to the ground. Just when she was about to give up hope, a Walmart employee came out and unplugged the car.

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No Ears

Three men were driving through the country when their truck broke down. It was bad weather and they had no place to go. Of course the farmer came along and said they could spend the night with him under one condition. He had a son who had no ears and got very upset if anything was said about it. Later that evening at dinner one of the men kept staring at the boy. The boy, getting upset, asks “What are…

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The Son in Law

An old lady and her husband are walking to their house one night after an evening out on the town. She hears a buzzing noise and searches throughout the house to see what it is but can’t figure it out. So she goes in to her daughter’s room to find her on the end of her bed with a vibrator. The old lady says, “What the hell are you doing!!??” The daughter replies, “Mom, I am 40 years old, I’m…

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