Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD USA,” they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused, he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.…
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A mother and her son were flying “Southwest Airlines” from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,…
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A teacher is giving a spelling bee. She asks little John to spell the word, “Before.” “Um…Before: b-e-e-f-o-r,” he replies, erroneously. The teacher then calls on Suzy. “Before: b-e-p-h-o-r.” Again, she too is wrong, and the teacher calls on little Leroy. “Before: b-e-f-o-r-e,” gloats the little boy. Very good, Leroy! Now can you use the word in a sentence?” “Yeah. Before: Two and two be fore.”
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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Patrick?” “Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.” “Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days.” The teacher turns back…
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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the…
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1. Don’t ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you know what it’s like. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 7. If you talk about having a big…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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KEEP HONKING WHILE I RE-LOAD TAXATION WITH REPRESENTATION ISN’T MUCH BETTER MY WIFE SAYS I DON’T LISTEN TO HER. I THINK THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU’RE STILL AN IDIOT IF YOU CAN READ THIS, I CAN HIT MY BRAKES AND SUE YOU. IS A GRUNTLED EMPLOYEE THE OPPOSITE OF A DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE? WHEN SIGN-PAINTERS GO ON STRIKE, WHO PAINTS THEIR PICKET SIGNS? WHAT ARE PREPARATIONS A THRU G? WHY ARE THERE BRAILLE…
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There was this boy who woke up one night with a nightmare. He cries, “Mummy, Mummy!” His mother came rushing into the bedroom and the boy told her that he had a dream that Grandma died. So a week later, his Grandma died. The boy woke up another night screaming and he told his mother that he dreamt that Grandpa died. Strangely enough, a week later Grandpa died. The boy woke up yet another night screaming that he had a…
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This cowboy walked into a bar and saw a beautiful blonde sitting on a stool. He walked up to her and asked her, “Can I smell your pussy?” The blonde says, “Certainly not.” The cowboys says, “Oh, then it must be your feet.”
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