Clinton/JFK
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK? A: One got his head blown off in a car, the other was assassinated.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Own a car Jokes - page 19
Government Employees
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep, then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind,…
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the worst day of my life
For more than an hour the scrawny guy sat at the bar staring down in his glass. Suddenly a burly truck driver loped across the room, sat down next to him and drank the guys drink. The poor fellow burst out crying. “Oh, come on, pal,” the trucker said. “I was joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink.” “No, that’s not it,” the man replied. “This has been the worst day of my life. I overslept, was late for work…
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Hey masturbata!
(sung to tune of the Macarena) by Adam Sandler ************************************* Sitting in my house, and I know that I’m alona, Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona. Go and grab a Penthouse it’s the one with Sharon Stona. Hey Masturbata!! I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea, Once ain’t quite enough so I have to do it twicea. If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea. Hey Masturbata!! I use…
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the piano
Man walks into a bar. This man is carring a big, black, briefcase type of bag. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He removes a thimble from his pocket, pours a little of his drink in this thimble, and puts the thimble inside the bag. Bartender gets a little nosey, and asks what’s in the bag. Man holds up his finger as if to say “wait”, and begins to open the case at the top. He…
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Corporate Buzzwords for 2000
Corporate Buzzwords for 2000 Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm:…
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Why Guitars Are Better Than Women
1. A guitar has a volume knob. 2. If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one. 3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want to. 4. You can unplug a guitar. 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining. 6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset. 7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested. 8. You can have…
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28 things guys wish girls knew
28 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew 1.. We’re not as big of perverts as you think we all are. 2.. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole 3.. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too. 4.. Don’t argue with us when we call you beautiful. 5.. Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around. 6.. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you. 7.. Don’t…
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Memo from Microsoft
Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…
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Dumb Luck?!?
After a night on the town with his buddies and a few too many drinks, Tom foolishly offers to give everyone a lift home. As Tom is driving down the freeway, his friend yells out that he has missed the exit. “No problem,” says Tom as he puts the car in reverse and begins reversing — straight into another car. Wouldn’t you know it but 10 seconds later a police officer drives up. The officer approaches the other car first…
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