Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks into a supermarket in downtown L.A. and heads straight to the produce section. After looking at the heads of fresh lettuce on display, the customer approaches the store clerk and asks, “Excuse me. Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” Shaking his head, the clerk says, “I’m sorry. But we sell those by the whole head.” “But I don’t need a whole head, just half. C’mon surely you can accommodate my simple request,” insists the customer.…
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A blonde went to the doctor with both of her ears burned. When he asked what happened she replied, “Well I was ironing my clothes when someone called and I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone.” “I see,” said the doctor, “but how did you burn the other ear?” “The creep called back!”
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!” When what to my Wanderin’ eyes should appear, But da Don of all elfs, And eight friggin’ reindeer! Wit’ slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!…
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“You’re in incredibly fine condition,” the doctor concluded, after finishing a thorough physical exam. “How old did you say you were, Sir?” “Seventy-eight.” “Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year-old. What’s your secret?” “I guess, Doc, it’s due to a pact the wife and I made when we got married. She promised that if she was ever about to lose her temper, she’d stay in the kitchen ’til she cooled off. And I pledged that when I got…
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NASA wass preparing for another mission and wanted to send a woman into space. To find the right one, NASA officials interviewed a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They called in the brunette and told her that she was one of the finalists to go into space. Then one of the officials asked her what planet she would like to visit and why. She thought about it and then said that she would like to go to Jupiter and…
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A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede thier position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “inlaws.”
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This guy staggers home drunk one night. His wife is still up so he starts telling her about this great bar he was at. He said, “Wow honey, it was great! Everything was gold! Ya wouldn’t believe it. They had gold plates, gold mugs, gold disco balls, everything was gold! They even had gold urinals!” His wife said, “Yeah, sure honey. Why don’t you just sleep it off?” So the guy passes out. The next morning, the wife is curious…
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Overheard by the parents of a selfish child.. “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my toys to break, So none of the other kids can play with em’. Amen”
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Q: Do you know why so many Italian men are named Tony ? A: Because when they get on the boat to come to America, they stamp “TO NY” on their forehead !
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A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir,…
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