poor firefly
How did the firefly feel when he ran into the fan? De-lighted
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ow Jokes - page 410
Biker Gang
A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…
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4 bells
Fireman comes home from work talking about the new system they have a work. 1 Bell, put on their clothes, 2 Bells, slide down the pole, 3 Bells, Jump on the truck and ride to the Fire. The wife says, “That sounds good, why don’t we set up something at home?” They do. The next day he comes home and decides to try the system. 1 Bell, they jump out of their clothes, 2 Bells, they jump in the bed,…
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urban myths?
INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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Insanity
After ten years of incarceration in an insane asylum, the remarkable Ralph Tibney seemed to have made a remarkable recovery. “While you were here,” the doctor said, “you actually acquired a doctorate in chemistry. If I recommend that you be released, what do you plan to do?” “I plan to go to work doing R&D for a major corporation.” “Good…and if you can’t get a job?” “Then I’ll see if I can get a grant and open my own lab.”…
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First Date
A man and a woman were just finishing up a first date on the woman’s doorstep. She gives him a kiss and says goodbye. The man says, “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to invite me upstairs?” The woman, obviously surprised at his question, replies, “Oh, my. Well, I just coudn’t invite a man into my room on the first date!” And the man asks, “Oh? Well how about a last date?”
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BIG MOUTHED FROG
There was a frog with a really big mouth travelling around one day. He came to a barn and saw a cow. “HELLO COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?” The cow replied, “Milk.” The frog nodded. “OH, IS THAT SO.” He then hopped along to a fence and saw a horse. “HELLO, HORSE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?” The horse replied,”Hay.” The frog nodded, “OH, IS THAT SO.” He then hopped along to the river and he saw…
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Mastercard Commercial
Subject:UPCOMING MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL Lockheed F-16 Fighting Falcon – $25 million dollars Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk Stealth Fighter – $45 million dollars. Boeing B-52 Stratofortress – $74 million dollars. Brand new B-2 Stealth Bomber – $2.1 billion dollars. A decent map of downtown Belgrade. * Priceless. There are some things that money can’t buy… For the rest, there’s MasterCard, the official card of the 19 member NATO alliance and those who believe that sometimes you just need to blow up something in…
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Later, Johnny
Little Johnny went home early from school and started calling his mother and got no answer. He finally went upstairs and saw the bedroom door open a crack. When he peeked in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid, so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some groceries, he said, “Mommy, Mommy, guess what I saw? I saw Daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were…
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Limmericks
Dirty Limmericks 1. There once was a lad from Mass Who’s balls were made of fine brass In stormy weather they clanged together And sparks would fly out of his ass! 2. Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. When she bent over Rover dove her and said “Hey, I got a bone of my own!’
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