Ow Jokes - page 397

Horrible Dreams

“Doc,” said the young many, lying down on the couch, “You’ve got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I’m lying in bed when, all of a sudden, five beautiful women rush in and start tearing off my clothes.” The psychiatrist nods, “And what do you do?” “I push them away.” “I see. Well, what do you want ME to do?” The patient implored, “Break my arms.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHorrible Dreams

A spit for $10

After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs. He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key. He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA spit for $10

WINE – OOOOHHHHH

A homeless drunk scrapes up all his change one day and heads for his favorite liquor store. He places $5.00 in change on the counter and says, “Max give me four bottles of the cheapest ripple ya got!” Eager with his score, he immediately downs all four bottles and passes out in an alley. Along about 1:30am a disgruntled fag happens by after striking out at the local gay bar. Spying the passed out drunk, he decides to relive himself.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWINE – OOOOHHHHH

THE WISDOM OF THE DEVIL

A MAN IS LOST IN THE DESERT HE IS CLAIMING FOR WATER. THEN OUT OF THE GROUND THE DEVIL POPS UP. HE ASKS THE MAN TO GIVE UP HIS SOUL. THE MAN REPLYS NO. THE DEVIL SAYS, IF YOU CAN MAKE AN ASS OUT OF ME I WILL LET YOU LIVE. IF YOU DONT I WILL KILL YOU. SO THE MAN SAY OK TO THE DEVIL.M THE DESPRETE MAN LOOK ALL AROUND HIM AND FINDS AN EMPTY CAN. HE POKES…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTHE WISDOM OF THE DEVIL

The Sentance

One night a married woman awoke to a moaning sound and found her husband wasn’t in bed with her. Getting worried the woman went downsairs but to no avail could she find her husband. She was ready to go back to bed when she heard the moaning sob again, only it was coming from the basement. After going down into the basement she found her husband balled up in a corner crying his eyes out. When she asked him what…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Sentance

Fire fighting

A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From now on,” he said, “we’re going to run this house the same way: When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFire fighting

Love of the Game

A Boston man sits on his living room couch watching the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. In comes his wife, huffing and puffing, and stands in front of the television screen. At that exact moment, Red Sox shortstop, Nomar Garciaparra, hits a two-run homer. “Stan!” she yelled. “I think you love the Red Sox more than you love me.” “You know what?” the said, full of rage. “Right now I love…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLove of the Game