Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were three dead men. One was an Italian, one was a millonaire, and one was gay. God told them they could have a second chance in life, if they could stay away from the things they love the most for one day. The guys said ok. “PUFF”– they were alive again. They were walking and all of a sudden the Italian guy smells Italian food, so goes ands eats the food. “PUFF” — he’s gone. Well the gay guy…
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Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month…
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A lady and her son moved in a house next door to a church and the church was next door to the grocery store. So every time the son would pass the church on his way to the store, he could hear the Deacon shouting the phrase, “Open the doors, Open them wide, let the good Lord and the fresh air fly by”. So this procedure went on for days, then weeks as the little boy became aggitated every time…
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1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings…they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is…
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Police arrested Charles Brown, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbelton, in the pumpkin patch at 11:38 PM Friday. Charles will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the county court house on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing the pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was nobody around here for miles. At least I thought there…
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This drunk staggers into a men’s room in a busy bar. After a while a loud shrill scream came echoing out of the men’s room. A brief hush came over the bar then it went back to its noisy atmosphere. A few minutes passed and a second loud scream came from the men’s room. Not only was there a hush but people started to leave the bar murmurming with fear. Seeing this, the bartender went to the door of the…
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Joe is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafing through his files to see if Joe is worthy of entry. “Joe,” says St. Pete, “I can’t see that you’ve done anything really bad in your life but I can’t see that you’ve done anything really good that would qualify you for Heaven. Can you tell me ANY good deed you’ve ever done?” Joe thinks for a moment and says “Sure. I was driving through…
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A wife is going through her husband’s closet one day when she finds a metal box. Inside the box she finds 3 golf balls and $20,000. She immediately goes downstairs and confronts him with it. Wife: “What is this box for?” Husband: “Well, every time we had bad sex I put a golf ball in the box.” The wife thought this was pretty good seeing as how they had been married for 20 years. Wife: “What is the $20,000 for?”…
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Man: “May I see you pretty soon?” Woman: “Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?” Man: “Your body is like a temple.” Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
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The Bureau For At-Risk Youth of Plainview, N.Y., has recalled an “anti-drug” pencil it was giving to local school children. The pencils have the slogan “Too Cool to Do Drugs” on them, but as the pencils are sharpened down, the message becomes “Cool to Do Drugs” and, later, “Do Drugs”. When shown the unintended message, a spokesperson for the Bureau noted the group was “actually a little embarrassed that we didn’t notice that sooner.” The pencils will be redone with…
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