Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. “Yuck, it’s nasty poison!” she spluttered. “I don’t know…
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A blonde Texas city girl married a rancher. One morning on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his new bride, “The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnant one of our cows today. I drove a nail in the two-by-four just above the cows stall in the barn. When he gets here, pease show him where the cow is ok.” The rancher leaves for the fields. The artificial insemination man shows up and…
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According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop.…
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One day over the summer, Little Billy was taking a shower with his father and he looked up and asked his dad what was hanging from his stomach. His dad replied, “That’s my nerve son, because when people hit it I get pissed off.” Later on that evening the father asked Little Billy to run down to the bakery to pick up some buns for dinner. Billy runs down to the bakery but half-way there, he forgets what he was…
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A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He turns beet red in…
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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and reltate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. “It’s a period”, said the little boy. “Well,…
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Q. How does a New Zealander find a sheep in long grass? A. Very pleasurable
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At a convention of biological scientists’ one researcher remarks to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?” “Really?” the other replied, “Why did you switch?” “Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won’t do. However, sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results…
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When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, one of my husband’s friends gave him a bottle of champagne. In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later, we held a Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming gifts. In front of our guests, I open the attached card and read it aloud,…
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A manager has to take up some sport, his doctor said, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his secretary asks him how he’s doing. “It’s going fine,” the manager says. “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, “TO THE CORNER! BACKHAND! TO THE NET! SMASH! GO BACK! “Really? What happens then?” the girl asks, enthusiastically. “Then my body says, ‘Who, ME? Don’t talk nonsense!’”
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