Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This young man was going golfing one day, but he wasn’t very good. He had been hitting the ball in the rough, the water, and soon a sand trap. By the time he hit the sand trap he was very annoyed. So he stood there swinging at the ball but missing and in the process digging a hole. Soon he hit something hard (not the golf ball). He bent over and dug it up to see what it was. When…
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Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.” So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.…
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During a lull in the rehearsal, the groom and his best man, two long-time friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, “You know, Bill, except for my wife-to-be, my two sisters and my mother, I’ve made love to every woman in this room.” Bill responded, “Well then, between the two of us, we’ve had them all!!”
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Yo mama is so fat that she has to use diet soap to lose weight. Yo mama so black that if she wore a silver coat she’ll look like a Hersey’s kiss. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad that the homeless give it back. Yo mama so old that Jesus personally autographed her Bible. Yo mama so dumb that she drowned in a carpool.
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A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below, the picture is titled “Got Milk?” The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled “Forgot milk”. The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It’s entitled “Not Milk”.
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Some say lawyers get a raw deal: There’s always another joke around the corner. A NASA official is interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one can go, and he can’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, is asked how much he wants to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answers, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, is asked the same question. He asks for $2 million. “I…
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THE WORLD’s 20 SHORTEST BOOKS 20. “The Book of Virtues” by Bill Clinton 19. “My Plan To Find The Real Killers” by OJ Simpson 18. Human Rights Advances in China 17. America’s Most Popular Lawyers 16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors 15. Detroit – A Travel Guide 14. Different Ways to Spell “Bob” 13. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational Speeches 12. Easy UNIX 11. Al Gore: The Wild Years 10. Everything Men Know About Women 9. Everything Women Know…
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An African village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to Marriott-Smalley, the great white hunter, to come and kill the beast. For several nights Marriot-Smalley lay in wait for the lion, but it never showed up. Finally, he told the tribal chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, the hunter went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night,…
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There was a girl who wanted to get a tattoo on her butt cheeks. She wanted it to say baby blue. So she went to a tattoo place and ask the the tattoo guy if he could put baby blue on her butt cheaks. Baby on one side and blue on another. The tattoo guy said “OK, I charge $10.00 for each letter.” but the girl only had $20.00. The guy said, “Tell you what, how about if I put…
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There was a man driving when he spotted a policeman. He turned to his wife and said, “Quick! Grab the steering wheel while I get my seatbelt on!” The policeman approaches the car. The policeman says, “I know you weren’t wearing your seatbelt!” The man replies, “Yes I was– ask my wife!” The policeman says, “Well, ma’am?” His wife replies, “After all these years, I’ve learned one thing… not to argue with him when he’s drunk!”
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