Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.” “That’s amazing!” the woman said. “How OLD ARE you?” “Twenty-six,” he said.
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were ambushed by a band of outlaws. They fought the outlaws from behind large rocks as long as they could, but their ammunition was running low. The Lone Ranger finally sends Tonto into town to get help. Hours pass by and finally Tonto returns with a completely naked woman under his arm. The Lone Ranger shakes his head, slaps his forehead and says, “POSSE, Tonto – I said POSSE!!!!!”
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How do you get a blonde out of a submarine? Knock on the door. How do you get a blonde out of a submarine for the second time? Knock on the window.
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A carpet layer has just finished installing carpet for a customer. He steps out for a smoke, only to realize that he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, is a lump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he says to himself. He proceeds to get out his hammer and flattens the hump. As he was cleaning up, the homeowner comes in. “Here,” she said, handing him his pack…
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What’s the difference between a circus and a single’s bar? At the circus, the clowns don’t try to talk to you.
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One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing. As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”. Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To…
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A theologian and an astronomer were talking one day. The astronomer said that, after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religions could be summed up in a single phrase: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” he said, with a bit of smugness, thinking that HIS field is so much more complex. After a brief pause, the theologian replied that, after reading widely in the area of astronomy, he had…
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The dildo salesman walked up to the door of a beautiful white woman and knocked. He showed her the dildos in his case and she purchased a large black one. At the next home he was greeted by a beautiful black woman who, after looking over the dildos in his case, purchased a large white one. At the third door he knocked and a beautiful blonde came to the door. She looked in his case and said, “Oh, I’ll take…
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A guy was driving his car down an old country road, when he ran right into a big mud hole and got his car stuck. Just so happens a farmer comes along on his tractor and says,” Hey stranger, I’ll pull you out for $20.00.” Well the guy had no choice, so he motioned to the farmer to go ahead. After the farmer had pulled the car out and had it on dry ground again, the guy says, “For as…
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One fine spring day, the Pope’s aide rushes into His office – “Your Holiness!! Your Holiness!! There’s big news! But it’s good and bad.” The Pope replies, “Well, give me the good news first.” His aide, beaming a smile says, “Jesus Christ has returned! He’s on the phone right now asking for you!” The Pope exclaims “What can possibly be bad about that?!” The aide replies, “He’s calling from Salt Lake City!”
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