Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mom was trying to get her son to get out of bed and get ready for school. “I am not going to school!” the son responded defiantly. “Why not?” Mom wanted to know. “Well, first of all I hate school and second of all ..the kid all hate me!!” was the answer. “Son, that’s not good reasons..you will have to get up and ready for school!” Mom replied. “Well, give me two good reasons why I should,” the son said.…
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Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. First Soldier: Why did you join the army? Second Soldier: I didn’t have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army? First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.
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December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
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A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, “Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.” His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest way I…
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A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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ONE- Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright. TWO- If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don’t try to subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim. THREE- Quit blowing smoke up women’s asses about the sanctity and power they possess as life-givers and come up with some decent affordable child care. That way, maybe poor single mothers can go to work and get off welfare, and we won’t have to listen to any more…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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There was a hound dog lying in the yard, and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. “Excuse me, Sir, but does your dog bite?” the tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, “Nope.” As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling and then attacked both the man’s arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, “I thought you…
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A blonde and a brunette were talking during their lunch break. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem, but she gave him Head and Shoulders and it cleared it up. The blonde promptly asked, “How do you give shoulders? “
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There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter: Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six…
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