Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Medical Student I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat…
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Little Johnny asked his mother, “mam, is our new au pair girl a mechanical woman, you know, a robot?” “Of course not, Johnny, why do you ask?” “Well, I just heard Daddy telling the man next door that he’d like to screw her ass off.”
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An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen, and walked out with $72.00. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66.00. He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week. The clerk replied, “Fluctuations.” The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, “Fluc you Amelicans too!”
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Morris walked into an insurance office and asked for a job. “We don’t need anyone,” they replied. “You can’t afford NOT to hire me. I can sell anyone anything, any time!” “Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell to. If you can sell to just one, you have a job.” He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000. “How in the world…
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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
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Two blondes were driving down the highway to Dallas. They saw a sign that read: “Clean bathrooms every 5 miles” So they scrubbed the sinks and the stalls every 5 miles for the rest of their trip.
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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doc asked the rank young girl. “Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then, I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible.” “Well, then,” the doc concluded, “go home and wash possible.”
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A snail bought himself a snazzy fast car but took it in to get a more eye catching color. At the car paint shop, he asked that the car be painted neon yellow and have a large red ‘S’ printed on each side. Confused, the worker asked, “Why a big ‘S’?” Grinning, the snail replied, “When people see me drive past, they’ll notice and say, ‘Hey, look at that ‘S’ car go!’”
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A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…
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One day God, Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf. Jesus and Moses have both hit respectable 250+ yard drives on a par 4 with abundant water hazards. God takes his hit; lots of power in the stroke but he hooks badly, and the ball soars toward a deep pond. As it hits the surface, a trout rises beneath it to take a fly; the ball bounces off its head and deflects into the rough. A rabbit which…
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