Ow Jokes - page 137

rival schools

My classmate and I come from 2 rival secondary schools. Ever since he knew from what high school I came from, he didn’t stop pestering me about how his school was better than mine. One day, at the Boy’s C.R. with other classmates, I saw him piss and he did not wash his hands. I said, “When I was in high school, we always washed our hands after taking a leak”. Caught red-handed and without any good reason, he said,…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokerival schools

Diner Etiquette

Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” he exclaimed. The two men stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped sandwiches!

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDiner Etiquette

Rest Room Signs

RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeRest Room Signs

Made in Japan!

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. The man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeMade in Japan!

Alabama State Troopers

Two Alabama State troopers were chasing a Camaro going east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect cross the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly and stopped. The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, “Hey, Sarge, why did you stop? You almost had him.” The Sarge replied, “Stupid, Rookie, he’s in Georgia now. They’re an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never catch him now.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAlabama State Troopers

Time for a Change

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, “I’ve got good news and bad news. First, the good news. Today, we’re going to change our underwear.” The troops start cheering wildly! “Now, the bad news,” continues the Sarge…”Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy…”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTime for a Change

The General and the Flag

This American general was invited to Ireland to review the Irish troops. His plane landed at the Dublin airport, and the general stepped off the plane. To his surprise, there stood the Irish troops along side the runway. All of them “Buck Naked”. The general said, “A bit unusual, but carry on”. The general stepped in front of the first soldier for inspection. A fine figure of a soldier: 6’6″ tall, 200 lbs, wide shoulders, narrow waist, hair all over…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe General and the Flag

After the Whitehouse

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is William Jefferson Clinton and I’m the President of the United States. And right now I’m going trough some minor legal problems that you may or may not have heard about, and these legal problems are probably going to force me out of office sooner or later and that got me thinking the other day. When I’m out of office I’m going to need some sort of steady income to support my family,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAfter the Whitehouse

Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half . . . You’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeViews on Aging

A Better Perspective

Last week I went to a seminar called “Stress and Disease” by Dr. Nicholas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those ‘TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT’ days, try this: On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Better Perspective