Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…
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And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plan you right here! 2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw. 3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good. 4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be. 5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can…
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There was a girl who wanted to get a tattoo on her butt cheeks. She wanted it to say baby blue. So she went to a tattoo place and ask the the tattoo guy if he could put baby blue on her butt cheaks. Baby on one side and blue on another. The tattoo guy said “OK, I charge $10.00 for each letter.” but the girl only had $20.00. The guy said, “Tell you what, how about if I put…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
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?Twas the Night Before Christmas 60’s style ?Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Things were real mellow Even Irving the mouse Our boots were hung up The incense was lit In the hopes that St. Nick Would soon do his bit The tree was decked out It was really a sight With love beads and flowers And a flashing strobe light Wearing my T-shirt From the Woodstock Nation I was getting into Some good meditation And…
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Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her, and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue one. The father took one step forward, just so he could touch the babies and believe that they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them, the nurse…
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