Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…
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This couple are just married and they go to their hotel suite. The groom is really pumped up. It’s his wedding night and he’s finally going to get some. They get to their room and he’s ready to pounce on his bride, having already stripped. She stops him and says she’s starving and would he run down to vending machine and get her a Snickers. He says, “But I’m already naked!” She says “Please I just know that I’ll be…
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Bill Clinton, soon to be a “private” citizen again, wanting to get the feel of regular life again decided to take a comercial airline flight. After the pilot made his obligatory welcome and flight information announcement, he put the microphone down but didn’t realize he had left it locked in the “send” mode. He said to his co-pilot, “Boy, this has been one hell of a week. You know, I could really use a blow job and a cup of…
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business, much like own, opened up right next door to him and erected a huge sign which read, “BEST DEALS.” He was even more horrified when another competitor opened up one on his right and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading, “LOWEST PRICES.” The shopkeeper started to panic, until he got this idea…..He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop, and it read…………”MAIN ENTRANCE.”
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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…
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The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Private Brabant will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this, the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brabant was overweight and terribly slow. But then the sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news: Private Brabant will be driving a truck.”
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It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse speaker–“Would the gentleman on the Ladies Tee please back up to the Men’s Tee!” Mike, still deep in his routine, seemed impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement–“Would the man on the Ladies Tee kindly back up to the Men’s tee, PLEASE!” Mike had had enough. He turned and shouted, “Would the announcer in the clubhouse…
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One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on but soon was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope…
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“Are you sure this is your house?” the cop asked the thoroughly sozzled gentleman. “Shertainly,” said the drunk, “an’ if you’ll jesh open the door f’me, I’ll prove it to you.” “You shee that piano?” the drunk began. “Thash mine. You shee that TV? Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow me.” The police officer followed as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. “Thish ish my bedroom,” he…
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