Dumb Blondes & Bars
What did the blonde say when she walked into the bar? “Ouch!” Two blondes walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would have ducked.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ouch Jokes - page 9
Husband Drinking
A woman was sick of her husband’s drinking, and decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the couch and screamed. “You don’t scare me,” the man said, looking her over calmly. “I married your sister.”
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Michael Jackson’s bedtime
Q. How can Michael Jackson’s son tell when it is bedtime? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
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Baby Pictures
Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…
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Resumania
“Resumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here’s some examples: “I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.” (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.) “Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”…
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NPR Interview
Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?” GENERAL REINWALD: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.” FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “Shooting! that’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?” GENERAL REINWALD: “I don’t see why,…
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Last Day Of Kindergarten
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is – It’s some flowers!” “That’s right!” shouted the little boy. Then candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She shook it and said, “I bet I know what it is – It’s a box of candy!” “That’s right!” shouted the little…
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Yo mama
Yo mama so stupid she sat on the t.v. to watch the couch. Yo mama breath stank so bad when she exhales her teeth duck. Yo mama so ugly she make onions cry.
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Fifty Years
Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering–have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question….” “Yes, Beck, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right. Yes, 3 times…” “Three? Well, when were they?” he asked. “Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old, and you really wanted to start that business on…
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Mirror, mirror
One day a gentleman and his wife were shopping in an antiques store when she happened across an old, sadly-tarnished mirror. He was indifferent to the pending purchase, and as the woman haggled over price with the attendant, the history of the mirror was revealed. The attendant stated that this was a magic mirror and any wish which was cast upon it would come true. The only stipulation was that the wish must be asked in the form of a…
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