wooohoooo!
A woman got home from work one-day and said “Honey pack your things I won the lottery”, the husband said “Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?” She said “I dont care just get the hell out!
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One woman Jokes - page 7
Womens’ Progress in the Middle East
Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?” The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
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Lunch Time Excitement
Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing. One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, “Kin ya swaller?” She shook her head ‘no.’ “Kin ya breath?” Again she shakes her head ‘no.’ The Texan grabs her around the waist with one of his big Texan hands, turns her over, pulls up her…
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3 men’s punishment
Three men (John, Bubba, and Mac) died and went to Hell. All three of them were in a very dark and scary room. Suddenly a loud voice boomed out “John, you have been very bad all of your life. For your punsihment, you must live with this woman for all eternity.” Then a 7 foot tall, skinny, ugly woman walked out and John was forced away with her. Bubba and Mac were shaking after seeing what happened and afraid of…
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You’re a Redneck, if…..
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league,” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think “Genitalia” is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.…
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Wrong Number
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get to setting one.”
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Boys will be boys…
Three boys went fishing by a stream. One of the boys left and was peeking through some nearby bushes. When the other two boys went to see what he was looking at, the little boy ran. So the two boys looked through the bushes and saw a naked woman swimming. When the two boys caught up to the first and asked why he ran away, he replied, “My mom told me that if I ever saw a naked woman I…
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Expensive advice
Two members of a country club, one a doctor, the other a lawyer, were having dinner in the lounge overlooking the golf course. Midway through the meal, a lady who was a patient of the doctor, left her table and came over to the doctor. “I’m sorry to interrupt your dinner, Doctor,” said the woman, “but I’ve had a terrible headache all day.” “Well,” said the doctor, “I can’t really say what the problem is offhand, but you should go…
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Alligator in the bar
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…
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Church Talk
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends. “My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father.” The second woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room people call him your Grace.” The third crone says, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say your Eminence.” The fourth woman continued sipping her coffee in silence, so the first three women…
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