Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…
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A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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A woman carrying a baby got on a bus and after paying the fare, took a seat behind the bus driver. Later on, a drunken man got on the same bus and after paying his fare, took a seat beside the woman carrying a baby. Since they were the only passengers on the bus, the drunk tried to strike up a conversation with the woman who tried her best to ignore him. Then the drunk took one look at the…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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A woman’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she carefully eases it over onto the shoulder, steps out of the car, and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle, where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in the history of this highway occurs. It’s not very long before a…
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A woman walks into a purse store, looks around and makes her decision to buy the tanned one. She brings it up to the counter and the cashier says “$800, please.” “What?!” exclaims the lady. “$800 for a purse?!” “Oh you don’t understand,” said the cashier. “This purse is made out of foreskin. If you rub it, it grows into a suitcase.”
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A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways when the husband realized his wife was gone for several hours and didn’t meet him at their appointed meeting place. Tired of looking for her, he decided to sit by a beautiful blonde on the mall bench. He smiled and offered to light her cigarette and said, “Talk to me…Quick!!!” She said, “Why?” “Because everytime I am talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears!”
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Have you ever wondered how you draw breasts on the computer? You know how to draw faces =) asses (_|_) and animals O3“““ ~~~~~(_____*> but NO ONE can draw boobs. So I’ll show you. (o)(o) Perfect breasts (+)(+) Fake silicone breasts (*)(*) High nipple breasts (@)(@) Big nipple breasts 00 A cups {O}{O} D cups (oYo) Wonderbra breasts (^)(^) Cold breasts (o)(O) Lopsided breasts (Q)(O) Pierced breasts (p)(p) Breasts with tassels \o/\o/ Grandma breasts ( – )( – ) Flat…
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A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was “OCCUPIED”. The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”. Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding…
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