Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy arrives home from the local tavern and says to his wife, “Harry Johnson the milkman reckons he’s seduced every woman in our street, except one.” She thinks for a couple of seconds then says, “Yeah, probably that stuck-up bitch at number forty-nine.”
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!” The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down. Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him…
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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Three women were all applying for a position in the accounting department. The interviewer asked each of them this question: “If you were to find $100,000, what would you do with it?” The first woman said that she would give it all back. The second woman said that she would give half back and keep half for herself. The third woman said that she would keep all the money. Which woman got the job? The one one with the biggest…
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Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. However, no matter what she did, she couldn’t get her tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor’s garden, which had lovely, bright red tomatores, she went over one day and ask him his secret. “It’s really quite simple,” the old man explained. “Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes, and they turn red with embarrassment.” Desperate…
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” said the artist. Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,they will each assume…
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Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace’.” The third Catholic woman croned, “My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he’s called ‘Your Eminence’.” Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the…
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A gang of robbers burst into the bank and ordered everyone present to gather into the open space, to strip and lie down on the floor before they proceeded to get the money from the tellers’ drawers and the bank’s vault. A frightened blonde teller took off all her clothes and then lay face up on the floor. “Psst, Cindy, turn over,” hissed a woman beside the blonde. “This is a stick-up, not an office party!”
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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