Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others. The graveside was piled high in flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who ?never knew how much…
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Twas the night before crisis, And behind White House doors, Not a creature was stirring, Especially Al Gore. The interns were nestled, Dressed in their berets, In hopes that Saint Bubba Would come out to play. When on the East Lawn, There arose such a clatter, Even Sam Donaldson Lost control of his bladder. Away to our TVs We flew like a flash, There’s a special report, And it’s pre-empting M*A*S*H! And what to our wondering Eyes should appear, But…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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A guy walks into a bar, followed by 10 beautiful blondes, who are very affectionate to him. He orders a round of drinks for everyone in the place, pays for it, and tells the bartender to keep the change. All of a sudden, a little man, one foot tall, jumps out of the guy’s shirt pocket, and runs around the bar, kicking over drinks, peeing in the pretzel bowls, and calling the other customers names. The bartender looks at the…
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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn?t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one. ?I sure do,? he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter. ?Wow!? said his friend, ?where did you get that monster?? ?I got it from my genie.? ?You have a genie?? he asked ?Yes, he?s right here in my golf bag.? He opens his golf bag and…
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A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather says, “Well…ask him where the damn money is”…
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Alabama: At Least We’re Not Mississippi Alaska: But It’s a Dry Cold Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: Nouvelle Cuisine and Religions You Never Heard Of Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Forget It Connecticut: Like Massachusetts Only Dirtier Delaware: You’ll Love the Chemicals in Our Water Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put the Fun in Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)…
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One day a woman was walking along the beach thinking of the sad state of her life, for her husband had just told her that he wanted a divorce. As she was walking, she tripped over something in the sand. The woman picked the object up, revealing a lamp. The woman rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared before her. “I will grant you three wishes,” the genie said, “but whatever you wish for, your husband will get double.” The…
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Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”
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