Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”
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Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the doctor, and says “Hi, Sammy.” “Who the hell is THAT?” asks Sammy’s wife. “That’s my mistress,” Dr. Goldstein replies. “You have a MISTRESS? How long has this been going on?” asks his wife. “About five years,” says the doctor. “Five years? I’ll see a lawyer tomorrow and start a divorce. I’ll ruin you.” “Wait just a minute, honey.…
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Gloria, a very attractive, very well built blonde, has decided to spend her vacation in Cancun this year to be near the beach. The first morning, she takes the elevator to the roof of the hotel where she covers herself with sunscreen and sunbathes in her bikini. That evening, she notices that the bikini has left a noticeable tan line. So the next morning, she puts on a terry robe and goes up to the roof without her bikini. She…
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Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, “Doc, I’m getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I’m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it’s your…
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* Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires. * I love cats … dead ones * I love cats … they taste just like chicken * Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. * So many recipes, so few cats. * Cats… the other white meat. * The gene pool could use a little chlorine. * I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. * Save a mouse… Eat…
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This actually IS true. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it! Only in South Carolina!! Bitter sweet revenge. It’s about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them…
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A man was driving down the highway and he saw a sheep with his head stuck in the fence. So the guy got out of the car and started humping the sheep. Another guy came along and said, “Can I have some of that?” The first guy said, “You’ll have to wait until I’m done.” Then the second guy said, “Do I have to stick my head in the fence, too?”
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Q: What did the blonde say when the docotor told her that she was pregnant? A: Is it mine? —————————— Q: Why did the blonde have tire marks across her back? A: Because the sign said “Don’t Walk” —————————— Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool. —————————— Q: Why did the blonde’s belly button hurt? A: ‘Cause her boyfriends were all blondes too. —————————— Q: How would you kill…
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Hamburger: $1 Cheeseburger: $2 Handjob: $10 He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. ” Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs suductively. “I am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. I want a fucking cheeseburger.”
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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