Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy and his newlywed wife go off to a fancy hotel to celebrate their first night of marriage. Both of them had been saving themselves for this night and both were very anxious to, you could say, get everything underway. They strip down naked and are about to start getting kinky when the husband takes a look at his wife and says, “That’s quite a fair sized butt you got there!!” His wife starts screaming at him and going…
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First Mother: What position does your son play on the football team? Second Mother: I’m not sure. I think he’s one of the drawbacks.
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Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight10.3, Bar Night 2.5, Weekend Golf 6.1 and Football 5.0 no…
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THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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A missionary gets sent into the deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication! One day the wife of one of the Tribe’s noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent…
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Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…
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Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and…
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Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. “HEY!” Alex shouted, “what do you think you’re doing?” “I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV,” she replied. “You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!”…
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Three men were coming out of an interfaith meeting at their local convention center. One of the men was a Jew, one was a Catholic, and one was a Mormon. They began talking about their respective families and the Jewish man said with smug pride, “I have four sons, one more and I can form my own basketball team.” The Catholic man, not to be outdone, boasted, “Well, my wife and I have been blessed with ten sons. One more…
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