Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A boy about to get married comes home from his bachelor party. His father is waiting up for him to find out how it went. When the boy walks in and sees his father he says, “Dad, I know you and Mother have spent a lot of money and time on the wedding, but, I can’t marry her!” “Why’s this, son?” the father ask. “Well, tonight I found out she’s still a virgin!” Then the father staggers back a little…
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A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks. “I’m leaving’ you for a better life,” she replies. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asks. “I’m going to Las Vegas,” she answers. “I hear they pay $400 for a blowjob there.” The man thinks for a minute, then gets his suitcase out and starts packing, too. “What the hell are YOU doing?” his wife…
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A guy was playing golf at this fancy club, and just as he was about to tee off, a cart drives up. These two guys get out and hand him a note saying, “We are deaf. May we play through?” The guy says, “Hell, no!” and tees off anyway. Six shots later, he is on the green about to putt when a ball comes out of nowhere and misses his head by an inch. “What the @%?*???!” he yells. The…
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Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed.…
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1. You dream you’re eating chocolate mousse and you wake up with a spoon up your ass 2 Your grandma omes to give you a good night kiss and slips the tongue in. 3. A dwarf tells you your hair smells nice.
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You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…
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A little girl named Teena has a cat named Piddles, and one day Piddles dies. Teena runs to her father with tears in her eyes and says, “DAD PIDDLES IS DEAD!!!” Her dad says, “Oh I’m so sorry that that had to happen.” Tenna sniffs, “Dad, how c-come Piddles legs and arms are sticking up in the air?” The dad having no idea, uses his quick wit and says, “Well, this way when Jesus comes down to get her he…
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A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.” The man says, “No problem. I’m from Chicago.” So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how he’s doing. To the devil’s surprise, the man is doing just…
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A drunk guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “About 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later the guy comes back in and asks, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “I already said that they are about 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later he comes back in and says, “How big did you…
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A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt. At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, the president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit…
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