Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s love.” “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” “Love is when a girl puts on perfume, and a boy puts on shaving cologne, and they go out and smell each other.” “Love is…
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One day a boy was walking home from school when he came across an Indian and an elephant. The Indian noticed the little boy and said, “This elephant tell how old you are.” And the boy said, “Yeah, right!” Then the elephant stompped his feet ten times and the boy said, “Yes I am ten years old!” So he went home and told his mom and the mom went to the Indian with the elephant and the Indian said, “This…
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You and your teeth don’t sleep together. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you’re not eating cereal. Your back goes out but you stay home. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. When happy hour…
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1. You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions. 2. You get winded playing checkers. 3. You need a fire permit to light all of the birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out. 4. You order Geritol on the rocks. 5. You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there. 6. You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again. 7. You don’t need an alarm clock to get up…
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5. “Hey baby let’s play house, you can be the screen door and I will slam you all day” 4. “Is that a mirror in your pants because I can already see myself in them.’ 3. “Let’s play army, you be the good guy and I will be the bad guy and you can blow me away.” 2. “How do you like your eggs…Scrambled, Over-Easy or Fertilized.” 1. “What has 20 teeth and holds back a Tiger? …My Zipper!!!”
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When old Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. “Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last…
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A man and woman were standing there getting married. The priest was talking. “Do you, John, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” “I do,” said John. “And do you, Christina, take this man to be YOUR lawfully wedded wife?” “I do,” she replied. “And now, to forget old times and only move forward, break the glass which represents old times.” The priest places a piece of glass down. John steps on the glass, which makes a cool…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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