Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks into a Chinese shop, looking at all of the curious, exotic things in there. He sees a brass rat sitting on a shelf, and asks the shop keeper how much it is. The shop keeper says, “Ten dollars for rat, one thousand dollars for story about rat”. The man replies, “Well, here’s ten bucks for the rat, keep your dumb story”. “You’ll be back!”, the shop keeper said with a knowing, evil laugh. The man left the…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about three hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the clubhouse, the resident pro would inquire about his score. “Ed, how’d you shoot today?” to which the man would always reply, “Another perfect par.” The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day.…
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“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young, did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” His grandson says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies,…
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Already the mother of two rambunctious boys, a pregnant woman was not looking forward to having a third child to look after. Her husband, however, was thrilled when the doctor announced they were going to have twins this time. He told his wife that she should start thinking of names. “Well, let’s see,” she said. “We already have Adolph and Rudolph. How about Getoff and Stayoff?”
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful valley, where the grass grew green and the people were happy. A river flowed through the center of this valley, providing life and water to all who needed it. Also in this valley lived the Twids. The Twids were friendly people, but they were very small. In fact, Twids were about the height of an average person’s knees. Anyway, these twids lived happily and in harmony with the world around them. On…
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