Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” 5. “And he forces his way into the end zone!” 4. “She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.” 3. “It’s cool whip time!” 2. “If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going…
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In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies’ ideal of beauty changes over time. “For example,” he said, “Take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?” The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.” “Why is that?” asked the professor. “For one thing,”…
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(This is a true story from the newspaper The Cape Times, South Africa) “For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning,” a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. “There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air condidtioning system, and search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues. However, further inquiries have now revealed…
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This jobless guy goes into a job centre looking for work, and is told that he’ll HAVE to take whatever job he picks at random from a bucket. So he delves deep, and pulls out one that says “TURKEY WANKER REQUIRED”. He has no option, and goes to this nearby farm. He speaks to the farmer, who explains that the latest craze in Japan is for women to smear turkey spunk on their faces to prevent wrinkles. And the farmer…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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to be sung to “Walkin In A Winterwonderland” Lacy things – wife is missin’, Didn’t ask her permission, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ round in women’s underwear. In the store – there’s a teddy Little straps – like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walking round in women’s underwear. In the office there’s a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say “Whoa, Man!” “Let’s wait until our…
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One day the Pope was going to a United Nations meeting in New York. When his plane arrived, the airport was mobbed. Finally, the Pope got into his limo. Because of the mob, the Pope was way behind schedule. So, he told his driver to go faster. His driver went a little faster but not that much. The Pope getting anxious told him to go even faster. The driver slightly went faster. Now the Pope was getting really anxious and…
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The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don’t reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman…
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A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. On the fourth move, the man burst out laughing! She complained to the driver and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself.…
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