Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not to far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute…
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St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…
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I, the undersigned, a male proposing marriage agree that? Section 1. In the likely event of my not giving you an orgasm, will keep on going, despite my lack of stamina and size until you have been satisfied. Section 1.01. I?ll behave myself in a mature manner and fight the temptation to scream ?Who?s your daddy? and grunt like a sea lion. Section 1.02. I will never complain about too much foreplay. Section 2. I fully understand that a man?s…
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A young friend of Albert Einstein’s proudly presented his eighteen-month-old son to the great scientist. The child looked up into the old man’s smiling face and promptly began to howl. Einstein patted him on the head and said fondly, “You’re the first person for years who has told me what you really think of me.”
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INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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A scientist is deep in the amazon rainforest. When he walks through a native village he suddenly hears drums playing from beyond. The natives panic and run away. The scientist stops one of them and asks what’s going on. “Is bad” the man says, “Is very bad when drums stop”. And the man runs away. The scientist walks on through the (now abandoned) village when suddenly the drums stop. Quickly he jumps into one of the houses. In the house…
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An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home. She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the…
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Two old men were sitting in their wheelchairs in the hallway of the nursing home. The nurse walks by and asks Homer what he is doing. “I am flying to Florida,” replied Homer. A little while later, she walks back by and asks him if he is already there. He told her he was almost there. She goes and checks on the other patients. After she finished with the other patients, she walked back down the hallway. Fred, the other…
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An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Uh oh!” The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well, said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke? “No,” replied the man. “Do you drink to excess?” “No,” replied the man. “Do you have a sex life?” “As a matter of fact, I do!” “Well, said the doc, “I’m afraid with this…
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An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, ?Oh oh!? The old geezer asked the doctor what the problem was. ?Well,? said the doc, ?you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you drink in excess? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you have a sex life?? ?Yes, of course I do!? exclaimed the man. ?Well,? explained the doc, ?I?m afraid…
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