Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you, Grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take good care of me.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem at all, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o’clock, they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet . . .…
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This is a story we know real well About a young hooker named Snookery Smell. Ever since she was twenty the men always knew, Where to find a cheap trick or a Snookery screw. They came night and day to her house in wazoo, For the wonderful feeling of a boping bam boo. She could move up and down with the greatest of ease, And she spent lots of time turning tricks on her knees. But in twenty years time…
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An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.” The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?” “Yes, says Sam. “I saw him do it.” Then the lawyer asks Sam, “Sam, listen, you are an 80-year-old, and your eyesight is probably bad. Just how…
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Two old men, with very bad limps, were walking down the street in opposite directions. The first old man, who was practically dragging his leg behind him, came up to the second old man and said proudly into his ear “Japan WW2 1943” -referring to how he received his injury- The second old man then whispered back in a soft voice, “Dog Shit – 5 minutes ago”
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad…
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A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick so she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to love him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a…
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The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.” “Uh huh,” said the old man. “We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman. “Uh huh,” said the old man. “And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman.…
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A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up tp the counter and says, “Hi..You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.” The social worker behind the counter says, “Your timing is excellent! We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffer andbodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the…
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The little old man rubs the lamp and the genie appears. The little old man unrolls a map and says “see this map? It’s the Middle East. My wish is that all the people in all the countries on this map could live in peace forever.” The genie says, “No way can I do that. It’s too much for me. You got another wish?” The little old man says, “Well, in that case maybe you could fix it so my…
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A 70 year old couple wanted to try to have a baby. The man went to the doctor, and the doctor gave him a vial and asked him to go home, and come back the next day with a sperm sample. The man came back the next day with an empty jar. The doctor asked why there was no sample. The man said, “I tried with my right hand, I tried with my left hand. My wife tried with her…
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