Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Their #1 prodict would be microsoft winders. 2. Instead on an hour glass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle. 3. Ocassionally you’d bring up a winder (window) that was covered in a hefty bag and duct tape. 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Ahh-right” “Naw” or “Git” 5. Instead of that annoying “Ta-da” sound you’d get dueling banjos. 6. The recycle bin would be an outhouse. 7. The winders (windows) theme song would go something…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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One day a man put his father in a rest home. His father didn’t want to be there but just to please his son he would stay there for a while. The first morning the old man woke up with a boner and immediately after he woke up a beautiful nurse pulled down his pants and started to give him the best blow job he’d ever had. As soon as she was done she cleaned up and left without saying…
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Two men were riding in a car when the driver of the car ran a red light. The passenger, scared of getting pulled over — or worse — warned the driver, “You’d better be careful, you’ll get a ticket!” The driver replied, “It’s okay, my brother does it all of the time.” A little further up the road the driver ran yet another red light and treated it with the same regard as the first. Before the passenger could say…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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I?ve learned… that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, and hope they panic and give in. I?ve learned… that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I?ve learned… that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I?ve learned… that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you?d better have a big dick or huge tits. I?ve…
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In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies’ ideal of beauty changes over time. “For example,” he said, “Take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?” The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.” “Why is that?” asked the professor. “For one thing,”…
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A man was doing a study of children’s senses in a first grade class using a bowl of lifesavers. He had the children put on a blindfold and identify the flavors. They began..cherry, red in color, lime, green in color, orange, orange in color. Then the man put in some honey flavored lifesavers and asked the children to identify that flavor. The kids couldn’t guess what the flavor was so the man said he would give them a hint. He…
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A Junior High School in Memphis, Tennessee sponsored a luncheon for the residents of a senior citizens home. The principal of the school received the following Thank You note. * * * Dear Reyer School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens’ luncheon. I’m 94 years old and live at the Memphis County Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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