Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mrs. Dahlia asks her class if anyone can use the word “contagious” in a sentence. James stands up and says, “If you get Shigella it can be contagious.” The teacher applauds him on a job well done. Then she asks, “Anyone else?” Billy, being ever so innocent, stands up, “I asked my dad the other day how long it would take for the neighbor to plant the rosebed she was working on and he told me it would take the…
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December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
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A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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A retired couple was driving to Florida for the winter, when they were stopped by a highway patrolman in South Carolina. The patrolman approached the car, and noticed that is was an elderly couple, and the wife was driving. “Excuse me, Maam”, he said to the old woman, “Can I see your driver’s license please?” She then turned to her husband with puzzled look on her face. To this the old man screamed, “HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE!”…
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Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on…
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A government employee sits in his office and, out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and takes it home with him. While he’s polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold beer right now!” He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can…
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Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After awhile, another ape makes an attempt with the same result; all the apes are sprayed with cold water. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape…
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Have you ever wondered how you draw breasts on the computer? You know how to draw faces =) asses (_|_) and animals O3“““ ~~~~~(_____*> but NO ONE can draw boobs. So I’ll show you. (o)(o) Perfect breasts (+)(+) Fake silicone breasts (*)(*) High nipple breasts (@)(@) Big nipple breasts 00 A cups {O}{O} D cups (oYo) Wonderbra breasts (^)(^) Cold breasts (o)(O) Lopsided breasts (Q)(O) Pierced breasts (p)(p) Breasts with tassels \o/\o/ Grandma breasts ( – )( – ) Flat…
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