Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A local TV station sponsored a contest for young ladies who were to swim across Lake Ontario. The winner would receive a modeling contract. Three women entered…a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. The winner was the brunette who made it in twelve hours, followed closely by the redhead who came in 30 minutes later. When the blonde still hadn’t come in two hours later, they sent a boat out to pick her up. They found her exhausted and angry…
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A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says,…
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ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering. One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry. After waiting a few minutes she asked, “Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?” Without looking up from the menu, he replied, “So…
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…
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Don’t squat with your spurs on. Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is t’ swaller. Iffin you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. Iffin it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t. It don’t take no genius…
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An American businessman goes on business to Japan. He tells his assistant that night to get him some ‘entertainment.’ So his assistant gets him a hooker. The whole night this Japanese hooker keeps screaming, ‘Hoshimota, hoshimota!’ He thinks he is doing it really, really good. The next morning he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner, who makes a hole in one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and patting him on the back. The…
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This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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An elderly man was walking along the beach in miamI while his wife slept late at their hotel. He came upon a bottle with a cork. He pulled the cork and lo and behold, out came an enormous genie. “Hello, genie”, said Morris. “I will grant you one wish,” said the genie, “and if I can’t grant that wish, I will grant you another one.” “Ok” said Morris. He picked up a shell and drew a map in the sand.…
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