Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away…
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US humorist, illustrator and poet Oliver Herford was traveling on a trolley one day with his young nephew on his lap. The car was so crowded that when an attractive blonde entered, she was obliged to stand. Herford have her an admiring look and said to his nephew, “My boy, why don’t you get up and give the lady your seat?”
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King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he’d see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week.. A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin’s laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a…
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A little old lady’s phone rings late one night and she answers it. “Hello?” A deep voice on the other end says, “I know you, you’d like me to push you down on the bed and rip all your clothes off, lick your body all over and make rough love to you.” The old lady looks at the phone blushing and in amazement and replies, “Wow. You can really tell all this from a single ‘Hello?’”
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A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking into her purse, she commented, “That’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills. The boy quicky replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”
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At the checkout line, a small boy and his mother were having a problem. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum, and his mother won’t let him have any. At least that’s what I thought. Then I heard his mother’s reply. “No!” she said, looking the child squarely in the eye. “You may NOT have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!”
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Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…
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Two ladies have played bridge together for years, nay decades. Naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, “Now, dear, I know that we’ve known each other for many years, but please don’t be angry or upset by this–could you please tell me your name? I’m trying to remember, but I just can’t bring it to mind.” The other lady glares at her…
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This is a true story as told to me by my boss. A woman had just pulled into a mall parking lot and was trying to find a parking spot. She saw another car drive over a cat. Getting out of her car, and feeling sorry for the dead cat, she decided she would get a shopping bag from the nearest store in the mall, to put the dead cat in. Doing so, she then went to find a pay…
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The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.” The other…
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