Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it’s quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying…
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An airoplane is about to crash land. The pilot yells over the intercom to the passengers to throw something out the window so that the crash won’t be as bad. A young irish blonde throws out a case o whisky, a big english bloke lobs out a case o cigs and an Iraq phsyco throws out a bomb. Five minutes later a women is walking along a street. She see’s a little girl crying. “What’s the matter dear?” she asks.…
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It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny, tell me your REAL name!”. The kid said “No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask…
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THE PERFECT WOMAN 1. I wanna swallow it all…I love the taste. 2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink? 3. I’m bored. Wanna shave my pussy? 4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies? 5. That was a great fart. Do another. 6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 7. You’re soooo sexy when you’re hungover. 8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. 9. Let’s subscribe…
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to…
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Last time the circus came to town, only two applicants answered an ad in the local paper for an animal trainer. The owner decided to audition the male and female applicants. At first glance, it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she was wearing a very long, flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man’s only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and…
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With corporate mergers in the news these days, here are a few that might be fun. Xerox and Wurlitzer: To make reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: The merged company will be called Fairwell, Honeychild Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Keebler: Will be renamed Poly Warner Cracker W.R Grace Co., Fuller Brush, Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: Hale Mary, Fuller Grace 3M and Goodyear: Will be called MMMGood John Deere and Abitibi-Price: Will be Deere Abi Honeywell,…
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When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love YOU so much that we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day…
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An old guy comes home in the middle of the day and finds his young blonde wife standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string and 7 inch steel heels, and the whole apartment is flooded. “What happened here?” he asks. “I think the waterbed’s busted,” says the trembling wife. Just then a naked guy floats by. “Who’s that?” demands the husband. “I dunno. Must be a lifeguard.”
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I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…
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